In my previous post I shared about 5 immediate steps to take if I ever feel negative emotions. I repeat step 2 to 5 during my period of feelings, once the time limit is up, I set my mind to focus on the future. How can I be a better person? How can I avoid these mistakes from happening again? How can I improve my emotional intelligence?
Here are 5 more steps for long term healing, to be a happier and more emotionally stable person.
6. Don’t take things personally
Sometimes when we see comments as “personal attacks”, well, it’s not us. They are the ones not being compassionate or empathetic, if they attack most likely they are also hurt inside. Let them attack, but we don’t stand at the same place to be their target. Move away. We peace out.
If I want to improve on myself, I cannot depend on just myself. Leverage on others’ intelligence, I read to reflect, improve and move on, I refer how others deal with their situations and then apply whatever suitable for my own situation. Yes, self help book does help! One of the books that changed how I view myself is “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown, strongly recommend to all of us!
8. Ask for advice
Only after the “emo period” I will start to seek advice, otherwise I’d be too weak to get back up at all. I will ask my closest friends their opinions or feedback, I will google every question that I have on my mind. “How to deal with difficult conversation?” “How to forgive when apology is missing?” “How to be more compassionate?”
9. Be grateful
The best cure is to simply count my blessings. I’d be as specific as possible – thanks for giving me great health, thanks for cooking for me last night, the trees are blossoming, it’s perfect weather today for a run! I find joy even in the simplest thing like breeze at the beach, flowers; not to forget the solid friendships and supportive family that I have.
10. Care for others
The simplest way to smile again is to make someone else smile. I always care for others anyway, not that suddenly I care more. I’d just shift focus from my own sorrow to someone else’s happiness, be happy for others, do something for others.. . It helps to put a big smile on me and on others too!
Many of us don’t know how to fix ourselves, and many of us also choose not to face our emotions so nakedly. I choose to face them head on because otherwise I’d be just treating symptoms instead of healing from the root.
So here are my 10 steps to heal, what are yours?