Disclaimer: This post is very subjective and controversial, please proceed with care because I’m totally unapologetic for any consequences
I read this article by chance – someone authored a book called “Assholes Survival Guide”. Wow I liked the book instantly even before reading! It’s not just me, see, someone else points out that there truly are assholes in this world. I had always wanted to be nice to others, hence never dared to admit that sometimes assholes do exist in my life. And then most of the times I was taken for granted. And then I was unhappy that I was taken for granted. Who to be blamed? Me.
But these days I’m different. I still have faith in people, I still be nice to others, I still am as naïve as I was. But the difference is, I learned to set boundaries with assholes.
In my earlier post about “Trust Fund”, I mentioned I keep a virtual account of trust level between me and others. Some people turn themselves to assholes after sometimes, or maybe that is their original color anyway, just I was blind to see. Usually when I know they are assholes is the time that the trust fund has gone bankrupt. A little late? Yes.
Once they are certified as assholes, I set boundaries with them.
Recognize they are assholes
- Regardless of how close we were, I must first recognize they have changed, and accept the fact that they have turned themselves into assholes. It is a very sad thing to see someone I used to trust so much to earn this label, but then, I gotta protect myself.
Never believe in assholes again
- Stop taking shit from them. Recognize the fact that they have been bullshitting, it’s a high chance that whatever comes from them is just another shit. Why take? No, no, no.
Distant myself from assholes
- Stop contacting them. Stop answering their calls, messages or emails. Unfriend them on social media, physically and virtually distant myself from them. Give them no chance to send bullshits.
Label the assholes
- I once updated someone’s name on my phone contact list to “Full of Shits”. It stops me instantly from checking her messages, because the new name is a reminder that I should not talk to her anymore.
If cannot avoid them, face them
- Actually, I faced all the assholes in my life. I confronted them, and I fought for my own ground. If I don’t even fight for myself, who else would? This happens at work or some common friends that I just couldn’t create a physical boundary. Because I don’t take this shit and if I cannot peace out, well they gotta take those back!
At this point you might be confused, is the nice SK gone? I’m not a perfect person – I’m occasionally judgmental, mean, miserable, pathetic. However I’m also learning to be a better person, and doing my best to move past all 5 steps above to the final resort below:
Most of the times I just wish them well, and bid farewell to them (virtually). May the assholes never come back and we shall never cross path again, all I want is just peace out. No revenge and remorse, we can go on with our lives separately and happily.